i RIDE my bike to work

sooo... over the last month i have ridden a bike to work more days than i have driven.
I realized that this qualifies me to say " i RIDE my bike to work..."
that is so amazing.

first of all... i was never a big bike rider.
i think we had bikes as kids, but i can't quite remember really ever being on them. I remember once our bikes got stolen in the Bennett house, but still... i have no recollection of riding my bike as a kid. I guess i was of the mindset "why ride, when you can dance where you need to go?"

anyways... about 2 years ago Bianca suggested we go for a bike ride, and i have to admit i was totally scared. I knew i could still do it, but i felt SO awkward sitting atop this big beach cruiser... and no matter what, everytime i picked up speed and heard the air rushing past my ears i would hear the witch from the wizard of oz song "dada-dada-dada-daaaaa, dada-dada-dada-daaaa"

anyways, needless to say it came back to me... feeling like i didnt need to divebomb the grass and bail out when i was going too fast... (i beleive that is how Lara learned to ride a bike.... i think my dad taught her on a bike with no brakes or something... did i make this up? perhaps. i just seem to remember in salinas Lara coming in from learning to ride a bike all bloody and bruised.... perhpas this is where my awkwardness and slight fear stems from..) anyways. i digress (for a change)

I am RIDING a bike these days and i love it. I have learned how to avoid traffic, and i even run errands now. I rode my bike to work and then all the way up to the 99 cent store to buy some 99cent suppplies for burning man.. woo hooo i leave on sunday.... and then i rode my bike all the way home past the morgan wixon theatre where i just performed thoroughly modern millie.

WELL... right in front.. giant 36x36 marquee is the artwork i did for a kids play they are putting on called "too many frogs"... i illustrated a little bunny sitting in an armchair reading to a frog and did the flyer, and marquee and little postcards..

it was really fun... i feel like a published artist... and it makes me remember how much i want to write and illustrate a chilren's book one day...
maybe when i have kids of my own!

OH right... i am talking about riding my bike to work..

SO, i love it and i feel like i am doing good for the world and it feels good physically to ride AND i am much more energized when i get where i am going then if i sit in my car in traffic gradually getting lulled to sleep by the sound (and probably fumes) of my engine.

Like, when i get home from work after riding my bike, i feel like i have the energy to go to an evening yoga class which is AWESOME! i am much more likely NOT to plop on the couch with popcorn and watch reruns of seinfeld. (our absolute most favorite thing to do always, any time anywhere... including our honeymoon!.)

OK.. i am clearly getting away from this whole bike riding thing. But let me just say i feel so proud to chain up my bike outside the office next to everyone's cars.

pat on the back for zani.

some more stuff

here are some facts for you to know about me. (if for any reason you might find yourself interested)

1. i've always wanted to be a stunt person

2. my parents named me planning to call me "xani" but i changed it to "zan" when i was 9.

3. i had lived in 12 houses when i was 10 yrs old, including a few in germany and switzerland.

4. i am convinced that my parents are like those gypsie people in the movie "chocolat" that have to put on red capes and move towns when the wind changes.

5. i got legally married at 19

6. i can play the bass.... badly... thanks to the turquoise bass jamie bought me three years ago and i only picked up a few months ago.

7. i really like socks of all sorts, and i keep single socks that lost their pair in a drawer called the "sock grave"

8. i LOVE cleaning my apartment, and go on a rampage from time to time... scrubbing for hours and hours.

9. there was a time in my life when i actually believed i was from the planet zork and would speak gibberish to myself to prove it.

10. i love snowboarding and have never even put on a pair of skis.

11. sometimes when i am alone i think of something funny and burst in to laughter... but i'm talking the kind of laughter where i cant breathe and my eyes water and my stomach muscles hurts

12. i taught preschool for four years at a jewish temple even though i was raised catholic

13. when i was a kid my "security blanket" was a stupid paperback book called "one hundred and one funny bunny jokes" and i left it in a symphony hall one time and cried for days until my dad went back and found it (or bought me a new one... i cant be sure)

14. we weren't allowed to watch TV as kids... we had ONE video of the sound of music and ONE of westside story with the last half recorded over... When i finally saw the whole thing of westside story, i was like.. HEY! It doesn't end like that! You added all this fighting stuff in! thanks mom. that was almost as cool a moment as when i didnt know who new kids on the block were in third grade.

15. i was in AWE when i went to Melissa Wenke's house and she could maneuver a TV remote control without looking at it.

16. My sisters and I put on plays in the garage wherever we lived and got REALLY serious about them. we wrote scripts, had costumes (from the amazing costume trunk), masks (left over from the opera), makeup (stolen from mom's purse), and sets (made out of indian bedspreads)

17. when we lived in switzerland my mom was so depressed from the cold, dark winter she would blast the heat, put us in little bathing suits and grass skirts and blare latin music and we would have dance parties all day...

18. i think i am mildly agoraphobic... i hate the IDEA of going out and being social.. but then once i am out i am totally fine..

19. when i lived in London, i worked at the society of trust and estate practitioners.... i couldn't tell you why.

20. when i moved back from London I immediately bought a convertible, became a yoga instructor and realized i would never leave California again.

21. If i could, i would eat only raw foods forever.

22. I got kicked out of Pali High... twice.

23. I love cooking shows, even though i can't eat ONE thing they cook due to my bizarre eating regulations...

24. I've had two houses burn down. One was a forest fire, one was an electrical fire.

25. I have two tattoos... both i got before I was 17 with a fake ID.

some stuff

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00am

2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Bruno..i laughed and gasped but was overall unimpressed.

4. What is your favorite TV show? So you think you can dance!

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? coffee... and if i eat i will have yogurt and a perfect foods bar

6. What is your middle name? Devon

7. What food do you dislike? capers, fennel, and anything smoky like chiptole.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment? MC yogi - elephant dreams

9 What kind of car do you drive? a little blue converable

10. Favorite sandwich? Rawvolution's cocophoria... curried coconut jerkey mmmmmmm.

11. What characteristic do you despise? i dont desise anyone or anything about anyone.. but i find in-authenticity really aggrevating.

12. Favorite item of clothing? anything flowy and soft... my bamboo wrap sweater is awesome

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? machu picchu... although i am going to belize in october and preeeeety stoked on that.

14 . Favorite brand of clothing? dont really have one... maybe lululemon or yogitoes (when we are making clothing)

15. Where would you retire to? malibu?

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 20th... jamie and i went took a helicopter to catalina with his parents and rented a bicycle built for two... and just had one of those perfect days

17. Favorite sport to watch? football

20. When is your birthday? April 16th

21. Are you a morning person or a night person? morning!

22. What is your shoe size? 8.5

23. Pets? never had one..

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?going to burning man in 72 hours!

25. What did you want to be when you were little? prima ballerina

26. How are you today? happy and feeling blessed to be in a beauitful world

27. What is your favorite candy? im not huge on candy... but probably now and laters... just cuz i love brent.

28. What is your favorite flower? lilies... because i had them at my wedding!

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? sunday! burning man or bust day

30. What's your full name? Alexandra Devon Roberts

31. What are you listening to right now? silence

32. What was the last thing you ate? thai food... i looooove it

33. Do you wish on stars? yes... i wished on a shooting star... actually a meteor at the willie nelson concert a few weeks ago

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? cerulean... not sure why

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? i dont think ive been on the phone.. but i texted max early to meet him for breakfast at urth cafe

37. Favorite soft drink? not really a soft drink person... but i love ginger beer!

40. What was your favorite toy as a child? the dress-up trunk

41. Summer or winter? summer!!

42. Hugs or kisses? cuddles!

43. Chocolate or Vanilla? depends on the day... but usually vanilla.

48. What did you do last night? took kathryn's yoga class and watched top chef with jamie..
asleep by 11pm

49. What are you afraid of ? birds

50. Salty or sweet? salty all day.

I'm a cruiser

I like beach cruisers, convertibles, comfy couches and soft blankets...

I like flexible work schedules and flowy clothing

I like lying on the beach and reading while mindlessly playing with sand between my fingers and toes

I like grazing and nibbling when I'm hungry

I like leaving the house with wet hair and letting the sun dry it

I like being barefoot ALMOST always.. with the exception of when i watch movies and like soft, snuggly socks

I like cruisin around a golf course in a golfcart while humming to myself

I like SIGHing out in yoga

I like meditating with a breeze blowing past my face

I dont like doing NOTHING, but i dont like being crazy.. I'm clearly just a cruiser....

nostalgia

dear gorgeous girlfriends...

i am sitting in my office this evening and the sun is at that 6:30pm angle where it is just so beautiful and golden, pouring in through the window like warm honey..
and jack johnson "brushfire fairytales" is playing on my computer through my itunes..

my heart feels so heavy.

at first i thought it was sadness.

of course you five girls came to my mind, because you were so influential and important in my life during the brushfire fairytale that was our life in highschool and beyond
and i thought i was heavy hearted because i missed all of you so much.
that part is true.
i miss you all...
a LOT.
even though i see some of you frequently, i just reminisce to the years of the bluffs, sitting for hours with no job or husband or things drawing us away from this golden honey sunset light.
(except maybe my parents and their crazy curfew for me)..
what a beautiful life.

but its not sadness that is making my heart heavy.

it's saturation.

my heart is heavy because it is saturated with all the sweet juicy delicious love you have given it over the years. and when i hear this music all the spouts open up and all that love that i keep away in my most prized treasure box in my heart pours out and makes my heart heave with all the love. it's the weight of the millions of memories like millions of wet towels draped across my heart.

so.. okay, enough with all the weird descriptions...

all i am saying is thank you.

i am so honored to know all of you and to have been able to experience what i have experienced with all of you and i wouldn't trade in a single minute for all the world.

thank you for standing by me and supporting me and loving me over all these years.

if you think i am being a gushy, crazy loon try playing brushfire fairytales alone while the sun moves towards setting one evening and you'll see what im going through at this moment.

Namascaram. (the divine light in me bows to the divine light in all of you.)

OM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI
_________________________
wrote this email last night to five goddesses that mean so much to me.

meteors and music

yesterday we went out to lake elsinore baseball diamond and watched willie nelson, john cougar mellencamp, and bob dylan rock out.

it was me, jame, BB, candie, and sean... and it was so so so fun.

we arrived in lake elsinore around 4pm and i swear it was 400 degrees. it was like hitting a wall of heat. the line to get in was all the way through the parking lot, so we stood in the boiling sun getting total heatstroke, but combating it.. err adding to it more like... with our alchoholic beverages! finally we got in and went straight down to the field to set up our blankets.
BB has been the biggest willie fan for-ever. shes seen him around 30 times. i didnt get it until i saw him. he is just so engaging and loving and happy and is still an INCREDIBLE performer at age 76! i fell in love with him right then and there. i felt like he was singing straight to me!

we were right up at the front of the stage while he was performing and then retreated to our blankets that were not far away from the stage for john mellencamp. (i have had "aint that america" stuck in my head since he sang it)... he was great too, but nothing like willie. he sang as the sun started to go down. (thank god).... although we were still sweating from dancing around like crazies.

finally, bob dylan came on. i am HUGE dylan fan, but he always disappoints in concert. BUT he was way better then he was last time we went and saw him down in san diego. he is just so cool on stage. last time he didnt even pick up a guitar... at least this time he was playing and singing instead of talk/mubmling.... but i still loved it.

at one point BB and i went over to the grass and lay down looking up at the stars singing along.. but doing our OWN rendition.. the way he used to sing when he was younger and poorer and actually wanted us to love him. in my head i was totally doing a duet with him! and as i was lying there i saw a shooting star and then two more and then i remembered that there was a meteor shower going on!! there was so much light coming off the stage i only saw those three, but it was pretty cool to think that bob dylan was singing just feet away from me underneath a meteor showered sky.

life is pretty beautiful.

a thought as i was falling asleep... grabbed the blackberry and typed an email to myself...

our purpose here on earth is to love...
not just our partners and the things we find attractive...
but to love those things that disgust us...
love the things that frustrate and annoy us...
find unity among all that lives and exists and even the things that dont live
because we are all one
we are all atoms...
energy vibrating at different frequencies and taking shape in different ways...
different beautiful ways..
unique and perfect within..
and we must love love love
until as a species we evolve..
we reach that higher consciousness as ONE... as the one that we already inherently are...
love is the only way.