finger picking

Where have the leaves gone?
When did I become so bare...
Vulnerable...
Open...
My feet stand upon this earth, my head lost in the shifting clouds...
My heart soaring through the air above the layer of fog.
That is gradually clearing.
Fingers slide across notes written for this sky...
The sun is becoming through eye just barely open...
Head laid back...
OM's call to me.
Hot bricks.
Cold drinks.
Home is where this heart soars.
Afraid to look down.
My hands found electricity again.
I am coming back anew.
An updated version of a me I cherished in memory.
This long loop is coming full circle.
I arc around the sphere of everything.
To be.
To be aware.
Me.
Free and once again touching the throne.

in sleep. in dreams. in life. in india

Marigold hues
Dance through my dreams
I'm lost in being found.
But still I laugh
I howl at the moon
Whatever 'too serious' is... I'm not.
She asked me how I ran up stairs
I laughed and replied
Fast.
Waking jungle dreams
That set me to sleep
In a hammock in the sun
Here.
There.
The doors slide open to show heaven
For just a moment
Then it's back to lining up your good eye with the keyhole.
Tumbling down a rabbit-hole of reality.
Dressed in black
And charging it through
Colorful fields of everything.
Now that his soul was touching it all
He knew what he wanted to be.
A family of bulbs
Ready to blossom
Willing the wind
To blow just a hair harder
To wake us from this
Dream we're in.
Flowers are free for the taking.
And a warm smile
Goes a mile.

...orient

Dawn she broke all my bones
Got burned by the sun of a soul
It flipped me inside out
I got insight now

I dreamed that I couldn't wake up
Got trapped in a tale I composed
It spun me round and round
Now I found some ground

I'm still tickled, twisted and tied up in time
But I trust there's a thirteenth hour
True to my heart and true to my word
I'm yours regardless.

Nectar

Taste the nectar from my mind
The flavor of the loving kind
I've been running down this path so fast
I never stopped to do the math

I lost my feet back in the dust
Forgot how to give and who to trust.
Flying too close to the sun
We had to break apart as one.

I came so far
Ran for miles and miles
And yet wherever I went
I ached for just one of your smiles

I found out
No matter how far you go
If you forget about today
No way you're gonna like your tomorrow.

But now I'm still and I can see
It was your love that set me free
I stand with gratitude and grace
Can't wait to tell you to your face

In my life is where you belong
Together we will sing this song.

Tong-Len

Empathy or apathy?
Delusions in reality.
Strangled by the blame
Before we realize it's a game.

We contract around a teaching
Telling us we must let go
Look within to find an answer
That once found, we're scared to show

Like a dream within a dream
Wherein we cannot run or scream
Suddenly trapped in a conundrum
Being drummed up by our being.

We're creating this reality
So why do we make pain?

The Angels in the ether seem to envy all the same.

But I really do find myself wondering
The echos of violence thundering
I can't possibly watch all you suffering
But I'll take it on nonetheless.

If you look into my eyes, you will see I'm alive and the magic I posses.

May all beings be free as I wish to be free
May the ignorance dissolve.
I will pull in your pain
If you do the same...
And together we'll evolve.

the awareness of awareness

My mind danced
Across the stage
Twirling in it's thoughts.

In a breath between frames
In the space between clouds
You found me with your light.

We danced to be free
This body and me
The lines drawn by my mind.

The ink of my soul
My awareness unrolled
This night I began to unwind.

A moment of mind
And mind alone
Free from the things we believe and know.

Your spirit met mine
Full and empty at once
When we both ceased to exist

The curtain arose
For a moment reposed
The me that folded in

Devoid of light
The nothing took flight
And the ether was my twin

Dependant Arisings

Let's dispense the senses
Yes, let's find a middle way...
Draw lines around the emptiness
From dawn to dusk each day...
Let's shaken and awaken
From this walking waking world...
Come lucid in this game we play,
Wake up before we're old.

Our mind is renting space here on the bodies we reside...
Though a body's just a flow of transformation where we hide.

We'll sit in meditation
Ponder this here permutation
It's all just imputation
Not a lot of variation
But a constant combination all the same.

We're giving names.
Though who exactly are 'we' anyway?
Some subtle minds?
Or the collective light of where we stay?

It's seems for now,
We're locked in this continuum of nothing so I guess I'll have another cup of tea.

death song

Will I have regrets?
Will the fear come creeping up the shore?
Would you place any bets?
Are we just turning around and coming back for more?
Would you see the mirage,
As you held my hand and saw me through the door?
Will I feel so alone,
When smoke and sparks and lightshows through my eyes I'm told?
When the darkness closing in
I'll remember it's my heart that's caving in.
Like I read in the big bang...
It's the beginning bell of clarity he rang.

The end...
It's just the start.
The mind is endless...
Just like the heart.
And I know I'm gonna find your soul again.
It's just the start.
Because there really is no end.

Now the night is growing cold.
And I find I'm reaching out but nothing's there.
I feel the emptiness she grows.
Im staying present, standing bravely though I'm scared.

The end...
It's just the start.
The mind is endless...
Just like the heart.
And I know I'm gonna find your soul again.
It's just the start.
Because there really is no end.

Just Observe

A pleasant, transient experience
I love
We could purify our minds with wisdom but it feels so good right here.
So I must just ditch class afterall...
The world of our experience is a product of our minds...
Like a dream so beautiful I'm not sure I want to wake up or be lucid in it.
Maybe I don't want to "just observe"
Sitting on the sidelines sucks sometimes.
But alas, I can't evolve or grow into the next game winkle stepping out of this one.
So, mindful and detached...
I'll pout just a little because I liked warm and fuzzy
Even-though a pleasant, transient experience it was.

i am

Sunburst eyes
I dwell on rooftops
Rock-climb barefoot
And believe in magic.

I've seen a metamorphosis
Been blinded by divine light
And i didn't come equipped with a reverse gear.

I'm a top down
Sky light
Sun roof
Kinda girl

I've been told I'm a floodlight not a laserbeam per say but I'll drown you in my love all the same.

I'm a bangled, beaded, scarves around my head and flowers in my hair kinda girl.

I don't know what I did last time to deserve it this good this time around...
But I bow my head and press my sweaty palms together for this gift I keep on getting.

See... The Buddhists say I'm making it. Creating it
The master of my destiny and I say well okay then
Because I don't think someone could have chosen my color for me any better.
I am.

Buddhist Camp

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But I behold confusion the seed of ignorance too
So I guess there is no 'me' to attach myself to 'you'
Oh where or where has the wisdom one
I'll try to walk away without getting stuck.
By my my mind spins out
My delivery rough
Red-faced monkeys swing
From the branches of my brain
I really can't imagine how on earth i can remain
But I guess it's all just an illusion anyways
Or something...

a silent story

A silent story
Waiting for...
Adorned
And drawn upon.
Spun...
Like a ball of yarn.
He said
He'd come
I cried
My knight as dark as night
A call
That wakes the jungle
Mine
Majestic mane
I like it
Alone
It's okay
Theres always
Tomorrow for story tome
If he's awake
We'll share a chocolate cake
And whether he or I
The dragon wake
Though spared on my account
Tonight
I'll dream and so create
And then recall
And relive
For a moment...
Confused
Which one is real.
Eternal.
Are dreams a part of this continuum of mind?

NaCl

Salt burns
It turns out.
He said
'there must be something sacred in salt... For it is in our tears, and it is in the sea.'
And when we lose the sea?
Do we lose the we?
He said
'when you move away from the ocean, you lose the heartbeat of the world'
And my skin dries UP in the mountains.
My mermaid tail
Becomes a lizard scale
And the sacred salt that feeds us, bathes us, beats that beating heartbeat tide in the crashing waves we ride...
The salt starts to burn
When it's Himalayan rock salt.
It turns out
I might be a real mermaid afterall

This comfort

We seek the eternal 
But can't wait for this moment to be over...
 A strand 
That we pull- that tugs on something deep and down below.
We forget.
...the journey is the gift * the prize is the path...
But would I have to give up my gold anklet with the jingly bell if I were to become a monk?
I asked. He laughed.
That strand
Pulled on something like an undigested piece of meat.
Let go! I cry out... Let go!!
To you. To him. To me.

I'm scared.

But it's so easy
We tell the many me's that hover and quiver in fear...
Just swap the 'C' and the 'A'
You see, ay?
It's almost SACRED to be SCARED... And that's okay.
But we must trust. It's trust or bust
For us who windy wanderlust...
I listen to the wind. To the wind of my soul...
My soul has wind. My spirit weather.
When it's dark and stormy my eyes still have starlight.
And
Why do we close our eyes when we kiss and sing and dream?
I heard someone ask that and I let mr. Jung answer from the grave - His words eternal.

His words eternal.
Will my words be eternal?
For that's what we seek, right?
The fountain
Of eternity.
So maybe writing now is my future legacy 
I'll leave behind.
And for now
I'll slip into something more comfortable and be present in the 
discomfort.

mount agung moment

one day...
the earth will be gone.
there will be no more ground.
and i will give thanks i was alive this time around.


i got to breathe in these majestic skies...
sit here now
and close my eyes...


i was blessed enough to live
and know...
the blessing of being here now.
time will show.


when statues crumble...
when the oceans rise...


... and all that's left of non-believers
is the fear in their eyes...


i will thank them for being
the yin to my yang.

the ones who will drown so faith may surface again.


if you want to come around the world
and make it new...

a piece of me
will always
be waiting

for you.

a way, kin.

... god keeps finger painting in the sky.
night after night.
smearing pastel paint across the ceiling of the atmosphere.

the hallways of all ways.

we look down at ourselves wading through painted passion...

called to arms
to love.

the "arms" of an embrace.

hear the sweet songs sung by spirits in the clouds that hang
in this fingerpainted sunset.

only seers see the spirits here.

they whisper songs that tell us
STAY AWAKE.
...so you can keep others awake
and collectively we can wake those that sleep.

Eyes that open one by one like daffodils in spring.

together we spring to life.

Shaken and Awaken
from this hazy dream we've been in for far too long.

the romance of happenstance

the sun rose a pink chiffon sheet across the clouds this morning.
as if to square off
to the golden yellow sphere of fire making its sacred entrance for the day...

every shade of indigo and lilac domed between the two sights.

the reflection of the east's beauty held in and witnessed by the west.

as the world grew brighter with each passing moment...
i felt your eyes open in mine.
...and together we closed them again, in bliss, as if to linger on the ever dissolving flavor of the mirrored dreams we had just woken up from.

two lives spent learning, discovering the unity of the all.
like two hands of a prayer finding out that we are one...
only to find one another in bodies walking through doors.

...Our soul that is in me has gazed at the moon, while yours prayed to the sun.
And we chased each other, ourselves around the universe.
Like the yawning sun that goes to bed, just as the moon appears and begins to search through the milky light for what's already gone.

flying like eagles that never stopped soaring.
and then we paused for just a moment, owls perched on driftwood with eyes fixed on the horizon, and we inhaled together.
and there you were.


the eclipse i'd waited my life to see.


and then it was time for me to go.
but...
i'll wait for you... and i'll burn.
will i ever see your sweet return?
will i ever learn?

i saw your spirit in the ocean reef.
i yearned to dive in and swim around you...
explore every inch.
aware that you could cut me and hurt me...
but too mesmerized by your beauty to care.

the waves break because of you.
you and the moon conduct the tides.
the tides that are in our veins.
the tides that pulled us to one another in the first place.

like the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.

Note to Self:

Don't ever hate.
Find a way to relate
Although life is short, it is never too late
To take over the wheel and steer yourself straight
If you find that you've taken too much on your plate
And your face starts to burn, you're becoming irate
Take a moment, deflate
And decrease your heart rate
Step away, move within and just Isolate
Even if it means that you're gonna be late
Just create a self-law that you choose to instate
Whatever you do, don't surrender to fate
Life's what you make it. Ensure that its great
Find a purpose to chase and explode out the gate
take the love that you feel and just germinate
Cross-pollinate
And co-create
Collaborate
And incubate
Consumate
And procreate
Let nothing ever irritate
don't instigate
Self-mediate
Rise above, and elevate.
And never, ever, ever hate.
All you get's an altered state
A tachycardic chest and a rapid heart rate
Don't suffocate
Recussitate
And clean the slate
As you meditate.

S.H.E.

Beautiful goddess with feathers in your hair...
Why do you give yourself away?
The humankind will steal your spirit
Rape your sunlight
Suck you dry
They desire what you have
Beautiful goddess with feathers in your hair...
Remember its okay to cry

You are a woman, not made of steel
The child within you aches to feel.

And you'll persevere.
I bless you.
Gift your heart with hope.
And will you to be believe
Do not refuse to feast when the appetizing aroma of your soul wafts back to you.

You were born to do great things
You are here for a reason
You beautiful goddess with feathers in your hair.

See yourself in me.
In the stars...
In the beauty of the colliding planets and bursts of light in the sky
See yourself as a lily
And know that in spring you will blossom, as you always have.

Do not fly away just yet.
You are born to see your own beauty.
So open those eyes and stop posioning yourself and allowing them to glaze and close.

Be the goddess you are.
Beautiful goddess with feathers in your hair.

dismay

Whisper to my deaf ears.
Your iris no longer expands...
Too dead to take a charge.
Too far gone within the shadowy abyss

Asphyxiation through self depreciation.
Your lungs breathe in your chest, alone.

Reflections in Steel

She called me a steel magnolia

My veins carry in them both wind and water

When frozen with fear, I become dry ice...
I'm untouchable by human hands.
A chilling dance of hypnotic smoke

With wrath, I boil.
A steaming kettle...
Spitting my poison...
Searing the skin of those who stand near.

The liquid soup of my soul is tender and giving.

Parts of my self are lost in the splash made by those who dive in to me

Shallowed by those who reach down with cupped hands to sip me.

Liters of myself lost to lovers, takers, vampires sucking me dry.

My wind blows eternal.
My breath
My life

I gasp for air until parched and raw.
Scratching, clawing at my lungs.

Be my pinwheel...

Be fed by this roaring rapid...
This hurricane that is me.

I can't compress myself any longer in this bottle of a body I reside in.

I am a force...
But powerless and scared.

Below the surface I am soft and clear
A drop of dew
And a gentle morning breeze
Whispering through and hanging upon the leaves of this steel magnolia.

art of the healing art

The perpetual edge I find myself upon...
Tip toes on the tip of 'I've got it. I'm there.'...
Forever at dawn.
Into breaking light, I stare...

Finding a key and unlocking a door...
We enter to find just ten thousand more...
Creation in life, the constant metaphor...
Unparalleled beauty, and yet always more...
I find myself dumbfounded by each truth I explore...
Reminding us to remember what exactly dreams are for...
The brush has that painted from the very earth's core...

The selfsame hand has sketched our souls...
Written poems in the sky, in medicine, in all beings born...
A loosley tied bow holding life's fragile form.

All it takes is a gentle breeze...
Someone to sneeze...
And the next mystical mystery is released...

I let my mind swim towards the enigma and try...
To quench this insatiable thirst for the "why"...
Clarity so clear, yet so clearly awry...
Abstractions in the science of why birds fly...
Lessons abounding that beg us to try...

Books written... songs sung... prayers chanted...
How could anyone ever take this life for granted?

The elation of creation.

We are creatures of this magnificence upon an unseen canvas ball.
It is the prophetic, anonymous poet who is writing the ALL.
With gratitude and awe, on this earth, my tears fall

But does the "why" even matter?
For that's all we are anyways, right?
Just matter.

So, know that YOU matter.
You ARE matter.

the perpetual pun is probably intended.