on a good day

Life is so good.

I remember about 8 months ago thinking this very thought.
I was driving.
And I can see the very intersection I was at.
I can feel what the sunlight felt like as it kissed my shoulders
And I can taste the sweetness of my life in that moment.
It was seamless
Easy
Smooth
Effortless
And beautiful
Every element of my existence had fallen into place in a perfect pattern. Each puzzle piece fitting exactly where it was supposed to...
And it was... At least on that day.

And I think I knew in that moment of bliss that it would never stay the same.
That it would never just maintain this harmonious chord.
The echo would die out and a new chord was to be struck.

And the new chord was dissonant and jarring and threw my very life as I knew it into a spiraling tornado

And then I found myself lying in the dust with arms outstretched
And I let raindrops kiss my lips
As swirling white spirit danced above me...
A drum beat pulsated through my blood stream

And my soul rattled.
Shaking free the parts of me which had died but remained within my shell

I died
And was reborn
I was the phoenix.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and turned the angelic dust to dark salty mud where they fell

This physical illustration of the same transformation within us when we cry and feel sadness.

Moving from the light and ethereal to the thick and dark

And all that I knew and felt on that blissful sunny drive through venice was no longer.

And somehow, perhaps for the first time ever, I felt liberation from the loss.

I feel a depth to my lungs and a freedom through my heart

And I know that the collapse and the destruction of the smooth platform that held me has only created a blank playa-esque canvas for me to build a new self.

And every moment of this creation and re-construction of myself is beautiful.

And life is so good.