Broken Open

I'm searching for an answer in the cloud that hangs above
I'm dreaming of a different kind of life
Where I feel the ground beneath my feet
My heart is full of love
And everything's a little easier

And I feel ok with floating in the air
Though I know sometimes the violent winds will blow
But when I'm at peace the ocean breeze will whisper in my ear
And tell me things that I already know

Like we have no say
In deciding what will happen
The only thing we ever get to choose
is our reaction
So i laugh and i om
And wherever i may be
I find I'm always home
When I'm with me

Ive been fearless in this life and so I have no fear of death
And I'm pretty sure its all some kind of game
So I let go of tomorrow
And I thank my yesterday
And laugh and om at everything today

Floor to ceiling faith
I'm dressed head to toe in hope
The cold dark night is broken by the dawn
So although my heart is broken
I believe its broken open
I rise above my fear until its gone

cuz we have no say in deciding what will happen.
the only thing we ever get to choose is our reaction.
so we laugh and om and we know that we are free
together we are hOMe, yea that's the key.
together we are hOMe, yea, that's the key.

backpedaling movement

we walked through my fire.
until we fell out of love.
and in my own backwards way i hoped you'd beg me to stay.
even though i was already gone.
we'd retired our shoes to a telephone wire.
to hang like the noose our love had slid into.

and my pendulum began its backwards swing before yours...

and so i found those who moved at my speed.
and have retreated to the womb where doorknobs turn backwards...
where your entrance is announced by swollen wood hurriedly painted glossy black.

our third eyes watch each other
for cues and clues...
as one multi-faceted crystal swinging through the dark...

we dream our dreams to life in our upside down reality.

though i miss the comfort of the forward facing idle.
but only because the monotone hum lulls me to sleep.
and i miss sleeping.

this hyper-speed retrograde can be nauseating...

but there's no turning back front

a se.cret

i sat.
siddhartha.
shadows cast through canopies.
parched.
an endlessly thirsting soul.
i gaze.
inside with eyes closed.
the lens is panoramic.

you appear.
from beyond this veil of confusion
i've struggled to push through.
this spiderweb.

you blow through pursed lips and the web lifts
and there you are
in technicolor.

salt in your hair and sand between your toes
and the glint in your eye
that i saw one time in the mirror
a hundred years ago
when i was away.

the scent of you.
the intoxicating aroma of the world
lures me to everywhere but here
and i don't fight.

i'm a lover, remember?

epilogue

when tomorrow you find
the glow of dawn...
kissing an earth without me...

my metamorphosis was complete.

my soul was ripened and thus i sluffed this shell...

my love is eternal.

the breaking wave, my breath.
the drum circle, my beating heart.
the golden light at sunset, my smile to you.

you completed me.
you didn't kill me.

the step off this pier was mine.
my watery grave.
my eternal bath.

in life i soaked in your love.
in death i soak in the sea.

we were never in the world.

the world was within us.

and thus... i am always within you.

the summation of OM

she whispered to her shadow...

upon these sands...

to be free, we must first be able to be.

i may guide you to the center of your soul...

but do not follow me out your door.

For i too stumble in the dark and walk towards a beacon i cant make out in the distance.

we are not in the world.
the world is within us.

so come with me to the color white.

the summation of all color.

just as we float towards love - the summation of OM.

no flightplan

fall in to me.

no greater joy then to be your all.

swim into my soul.

and be bathed in my love.

i am your sea.

these waves crash for us.

let us soar without fear.

no flightplan.

we trek uncharted cosmos.

a hollow heart

8200 feet above the sea...
the air is as thin as the skin of my heart.

your confusion has spun me into a spiral that winds tighter and tighter...
compression squeezing nothing.

for it is
a hollow heart.

my soul is sea sick.

turbulence in a sea of endless thoughts and palpable aches...

from all sides, this hollow heart is smacked by the waves that crash against this pier i stand upon...

and it fills my empty cup.

so, i drown in this thin mountain air...
i grasp for a breath that i can feel...
because i miss you.

the intensity of me...
us...
burns with electricity.

but it seems our options are

to burn with deep, conflicting, sparking, piercing love...
.
or
.
to pray and gasp for air to fill my hollow heart, and forever find myself lonely and aching.

i'd rather burn then ache.

don't be afraid to burn me.
don't be afraid to BE burned.

we are supposed to stand side by side in this fire.

jungle dreams

wading through these waking jungle dreams...

passion's humidity pierces my skin...

a splinter with no head.

...eternally embedded in this cocoon i spin around my spirit...

the shell i'll sluff off in death... or again tonight when i fall from my skin and in to your essence.

next day shocks remind me of the reality of this electricity.

our shared stitching is elusive and alluring.

what i know is the unknown...

and what i feel
is
a chest
drowning
in
sharp-edged
feathers.
.